December – Sukhdip Singh

My name is Sukhdip Singh I am 51 years old from Kettering, I dedicate my spare time to marathon running, with my nickname “Super Singh” on my running shorts trying to raise awareness around the globe.

Q. Tell us about yourself and profession?
A. I have been employed in the steel industry for over 30 years as a production operative.
In 2006 my wife and I were blessed by Guru Ji’s kirpa and took Amrit.

Q. Your children’s ages and who they are?
A. I have been blessed with two beautiful children Jaspreet Kaur 27yrs a Mid-Wife in the NHS and Parmjit Singh 25yrs a retail manager for Mercedes Benz.

Q. Who has been your biggest inspiration?
A. SIRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI
And then Fauja Singh the 100yrs plus runner.

Since 2008 with Guru Ji’s blessing I have run 7 London Marathons, 1 in NewYork in 2017, 1 in Chicago in 2018.

1 in Berlin in 2018 and 1 in Birmingham in 2017.
Plus over 20 Half Marathons including The Great North Run.

Q. You are running the London Marathon for the 8th time in 2019, please tell us more?
A.  That’s right I will be running for a charity called Get Kids Going, they are a national charity which gives disabled children and young people up to the age of 26 yrs.  They are provided with specially built wheelchairs to gain the opportunity of participating in sports.  You can find out more from this link (please donate) https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/SukhdipGarcha

Q. What has been the best piece of advice you have received?
A.  To live life truthfully, work honestly and treating person(s) with respect as you would expect to be treated.

Q. What have you learnt from your own father?
A. Work hard, be truthful and always thank Guru Ji and thus you will bear the fruits of your labour.

Q. What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a dad for the 1st time?
A. Believe in SIRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI, have faith, be content and always be humble.

Q. What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?
A. The biggest challenge has been being what you preach to your children you must act on yourself.  Only then can they take your advice seriously to help them on their journey of life.

Q. What’s the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you? 
A.  In 2005 we used to take our children to Sikhi classes in Leicester on Friday nights by Bhai Kuljit Singh Ji.  Around this time our children asked us as their parents “is it not time that we gave something back to Sikhi?” Their innocent thinking and love for Sikhi evoked the same love and fire in us and in 2006 we decided to take the Amrit with Guru Ji’s blessing.

Q. As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?
A. To see both my two children flourish into young adults working hard, truthfully and most importantly remembering guruji.

Q. Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?
A. Make more time for your children as time flies by very quickly. Work to live don’t live to work. I have realised this since I have become a nana ji in September 2018 with Guru Ji’s blessing gave us a beautiful granddaughter Dheana Mundavni Kaur

Summary

I have not had the pleasure of meeting Jaspreet and her father as yet, however, I was compelled to feature them this month after hearing about their relationship.  She contacted me directly and I was immediately intrigued about their relationship, she referred to her father as her hero and inspiration after he used to work during the day and study for a degree at night school.  She said he has always been at the forefront of her life setting high standards, Jaspreet being a midwife herself wants others to see the importance of fathers on child well-being.  Having now become a parent herself she has told me that she values, even more, the positive role that her father has played in her life to date.

I have to also mention his amazing dedication to running, he has been inspired by Fauja Singh, who is an amazing ambassador for Sikhs all around the world, having been inspired himself, Sukhdip Singh is now, in turn, inspiring a new generation, I thank Jaspreet and her Dad for taking the time out for Sikh Dad.  That, of course, concludes this journey of interviewing a different Dad each month for the whole of 2018, its been an amazing experience and I have received such amazing support and feedback, I would like to thank you all from the very bottom of my heart.  All 12 interviews will remain on this site so that these timeless messages of experience can be referred to time and again.  Until 2019 and the next venture I wish you all a very happy new year!

November – Bobby Singh

Bobby Singh is a successful entrepreneur, property expert and has served in a senior management capacity at PricewaterhouseCoopers and KPMG. He has experience in national & international businesses handling Consulting, Finance & Research; apart from carrying out critical leadership functions. He is a prominent speaker on public forums and in media. His multi-award winning Group has recently partnered with Grand Designs Live and Birmingham Film Festival. Bobby helps inspire and instil confidence in people to persevere with their ambitions to become successful leaders, with a commitment to giving back, community cohesion and equality. He has a passion for reading, horse riding, analytics, art, photography & sports. At Love Your Postcode, Bobby Singh heads brand & PR.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A. I’m 38 years old and co-founded Love Your Postcode ® property with my wife Catalina Lopez in 2011. We have gone on to create several high profile performance brands which sit under the umbrella of Performance&™. Today we are experts in buying, selling, renting, developing and managing property.

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

A. I have three very young children blessed with amazing names from our Guru Ji’s Bani.

Amritvella (Bella) Kaur is six years old. We consider her to be an old soul, very caring, sensitive, sociable and aware of her surroundings. She is a daddy’s girl and gets away with anything apart from slapping Eko occasionally.

Ekongkar (Eko) Singh is four and a half. The half is very important to him, so we should emphasise it. Now, this guy is a real lion, loves his tractors, swords & guns. I would describe him as super happy, confident, funny & loving. He just walks up to anyone and starts a conversation with Bella on his side and one day Sevan I’m sure.

Sevan Singh (no nickname required it’s a short name). Our youngest and most adorable lion cub only eight months and one that took me four years of convincing! I had to throw in a new house in Harborne for this gift from God.

I always wanted a large family so that there was always noise in every room. My wife is amazing because she is 100% dedicated to making our home work. Often when I walk in late evenings I can smell amazing food, hear the kids doing homework and see Sevan in the baby jumper. At that point I say #waheguru thank you for everything.

Q. When you started love your postcode, could you have envisaged what it is today?

A.  It started in 2011 with a vision for creating something different with five-star performance written all over it. I made it clear that it would be the number one brand property in Birmingham and chased that dream in a balanced way. For five years it paid the bills and a good quality lifestyle. Then in spring 2017 I walked into my business and decided that I wanted a story, a legacy and play a bigger game. My teams are incredible and allowed me to dance with the fairies. This is where we are today, high in the clouds.

Q. Why did you choose your own image to represent your brand?

A. It’s a very powerful image. I wanted to project the Khalsa on the largest platform so that it stopped traffic. I knew people would have questions. Those questions are around…

What faith does he represent?

Why is he on the billboards?

Why is he twisting his moustache?

How is able to afford such a large media campaign and flourish on his image alone?

I have been blessed with building an incredible position uber fast. I had 100% belief in my beautiful identity and it’s values. Today the photo speaks a million words about who we are and how proud I feel. No one else can represent it better, than the man that owns it.

Q. Firstly how do your children feel about seeing daddy’s photo everywhere? And secondly when they appeared In “our daddy sells houses?”

A. My babies are too young to understand all of this. But my daughter often says ‘daddy you’re such a famous man’. She says she’s proud of me and for the fact that I have made her famous because she’s the daughter of someone famous (apparently). Those words this Saturday touched me because she’s growing up and understanding the world.

Q. I have seen that you have done some free talks to inspire the next generation, what is your message for the next generation?

A. I love talking and applying the Sikh way of life to every inch of our success. I stand on stages and do my Fateh to thousands of people that have no idea what I said. But I love explaining who I am, what we stand for, our unique outlook on life. We have to inspire the next generation. I have a 30,000 strong professional flowing on LinkedIn https://uk.linkedin.com/in/bobbysinghesq and use the hashtag #morelion that many people have started to adopt. Every GurSikh has a responsibility to project a positive image of the Khalsa and lift others up along the way irrespective of colour, faith and status.

Q. You have put Iconic Sikhs such as Sukha and Jinda (more recently) right out there in the public eye, what was your thinking behind this? And what response have you had?

A. If my moustache is all the way up, then it is because of our heroes & martyrs. A lot of blood has been shed for our freedom to live proudly & freely in every country in the world today. Wherever we go today it’s, ‘Sardar Ji’, ‘we love the Sikhs’, ‘you lot are amazing’. Our brand has been created on the back of such positive vibes and love for the Sikhs across the world. Guru Nanak Dev Ji really showed us the light and now each one of us holds that beacon.

I was very young when I saw these two individuals eating lado and hugging one another in newspapers. I recall my parents and many others crying at their kurbani. It was a dark time for our panth. Those tears were not wasted and when accounts of each shaheed were read out by my mother I had it in my heart that I would balance the books one day. I have not been able to balance the books but I have been able to share the powerful images of 1984 and much more on our digital screens. These screens and our position in society is serving a purpose to our beloved kaum.

Every generation needs to understand our rich history. Everything starts from a photo and a question as simple as, ‘Mummy who is that?’

Q.  You have spoken very openly about your personal experience with suicide, how as a community can we become better at supporting people?

A. Yes, we can. I would encourage you to take a look the Sikh Helpline https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmLkjVbwCFo . I talk openly about my experience with the dark side ten years back and I feel that it’s my duty to share it with others. I get approached on a daily basis by people that know my story. There is nothing to hide and I encourage more people to speak up about things they bottle inside.  Your own personal story can change the course of someone else’s life in a positive way.

Q. Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A. Our Guru Ji’s & our Sikh martyrs. We have such a rich & powerful history that needs to be told.

Q. What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A. Remain humble and always give complete credit to #waheguru for everything.

Q. What have you learnt from your own father?

A. My father is amazing. I love him so much as we age. A simple man. An honest man. Whose taught me the below three things that I value highly:

Son, don’t chase money. Turn your back to it. It will then chase you.

Son, I’ve worked for £1.00 p/h and I am proud to admit it. I will never sit idle.

Son, never ever borrow money from others please. Have self-respect and dignity at all times. Give money if you must help others, but don’t have any expectations on getting it back.

Q. How has your partner Influenced your parenting style?

A. Oh God yes. She is a wonderful mother and completely natural at it. She speaks fluent Spanish with them and makes me look silly because I’m still getting satisfaction from teaching them things like eyes, face, ear and hand. I promise you they will speaking and singing fluently in Punjabi one day. My wife encourages us to have days where it is just myself and one child, so that I can dedicate my complete attention to one, if the others been loved up too much. She helps balance everything in my life and brings with her a South American loving influence.

Q. What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a Dad for the first time?

A.  Seriously enjoy the time you and your partner have together. It all changes once you become a daddy. Nothing is ever the same again. My wife wanted to travel to South America and then the world before having children. But at 31 & 29 we went into the most amazing phase in our lives.  Try living a very balanced life. Everything including time with your loved ones is crucial.

Q. What’s the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A. Time is precious. Enjoy every minute of it with the family.

Q. As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A. Do an Ardass. Let Guru Ji guide your household. Be gentle and try not to be hard on yourself or your loved ones. People often rebel when they are pushed into a corner.

Q. If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A. Punjabi cartoons like Peppa Pig! So that we can spend quality time with our kids and they would be better educated from a young age. Can someone help me move this idea of dubbing in Punjabi forward?

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A. The teams behind the counter because these people are amazing. They work so hard and have massive smiles on their faces.

Q. Can you tell me a funny story of something that happened to you while being a father?

A. Where do I start? Can you follow me and my family on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/weloveyourpostcode

You will understand once you tune into my life that it is all about funny and happy stories.

Q. As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A. The ability to look after God’s own creation is an amazing feeling. I know that I have to return these beautiful toys to the creator one day. I hope that I can return them complete and attached to Guru Ji’s feet. That is my real test and the test of every parent.

Q. What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A. To explain to Bella & Eko that I don’t want them to look at the others and cut their hair. They found that others looked so beautiful with their new haircuts and trends. I explained the power and gift of hair. It’s been nearly one year since they last asked and often explain to others that means of beautiful long strands of uncut hair.

Q. Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A. I have experienced #waheguru in loving and cherishing my cubs in a loving home managed by my darling wife.

Summary

I first approached Bobby on LinkedIn a few months ago as I began to notice the amazing exposure he was giving to shaheeds of the past through his billboard campaigns.  To my surprise, he replied back straight away and we got talking, we have not met as yet but he is the kind of guy that you can so easily connect with over the phone that you feel you have known him for years!  Like many successful people he has had his own unique journey, I love his openness and the ease at which you can have a conversation with him, he thinks big and you can see why he continues to inspire thousands in person and via his popular social media channels.  I have certainly learnt many things from him already and I am sure you have too, I commend him for the effort he put into this interview and thank him for taking the time out for Sikh Dad.

October – Balbir Singh

My name is Balbir Singh Sangha, I am 64 years of age and live in East London. I have four beautiful children, all of whom are now married, and five lovely grandchildren. I have been living in the UK since the early 1960s.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A. I am a property manager and developer.

Q. What was it like coming over here from India, Punjab?

A. I was very young when we first came to the UK, only five years old. I remember it being very cold.

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

A. I have four children. They are 39, 38, 27 and 26.

Jaswant, my eldest son, is very sincere, honest, caring and homely. He is a chartered account and financial wiz. He is a son that every single parent would be proud of. He now has three beautiful children of his own and is growing into a wonderful father.

My second eldest, Sukhdeep, is very precious. I am very proud of her achievements, not only in her academic field but also in her family role in bringing up two wonderful children. Sukhdeep is a Human Resources Manager for the NHS.

Ten years later, God gifted me with another child. Randeep enjoyed the influence of his two older siblings and grew up to be a very bright young man. Randeep is now a qualified doctor.

God’s blessing gave us a fourth child, who turned out to be the most wonderful, confident child that any parent could wish for. Jaspreet is now on a mission as a teacher and poet, with Gods will, to change people’s awareness of each other and to respect and love each other regardless of their religious faiths and/or other beliefs.

Q. You stated in one of your posts about the knowledge your Dad imparted on you through books and you encyclopaedias at tea time, please tell us more?

A. JASPREET: Since a young age, my Dad has always encouraged me to read. There would always be tonnes of books lying around the house, history books, encyclopaedias, you name it! We used to pay a visit to the mobile-library every week and I would always bring back a load of new books to read. Dad taught us that that the knowledge that you build in your mind is the one thing that no one can ever take away from you. This is probably one of the main reasons I became a teacher and love literature and history so much.

Q. Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A. My biggest inspiration in life has been my late father, Ajit Singh Sangha.

Q. What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A. The best piece of advice I have ever been given is ‘to think before you speak’. Once you have spoken something, you cannot take those words back.

Q. What have you learnt from your own father?

A. ‘To live within your means.’ However, this does not solely mean in a financial sense of not overspending but also to treat everybody regardless of who they are, on the same level and maintain that relationship to the best of your ability.

Q. How has your partner influenced your parenting style?

A. Once we started having children, we both naturally found what roles suited us best in raising the children and what parenting style felt most natural to us. My partner took on the very important roles of welfare and domestic concerns of making sure the children were always fed, clothed, making it to school on time etc., and I took on the parenting actions of education, transport and discipline. Our personalities influenced which parenting styles and roles suited us the best.

Q. What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a Dad for the first time?

A. Have faith in the Guru Granth Sahib. If you consider yourself a Sikh, believe and begin to understand the instructions given to us from our Gurus. That will help you and guide you in becoming the best father you can be.

Q. What’s the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A. To be tolerant. The generational difference will always be there so you have to be willing to adapt to the different age groups in your life. You will have to adjust as you go along. Sometimes you will have to go with whichever way the wind blows; otherwise, the roots will begin to uproot. Going along with the ‘tree’ analogy, every parent’s role is to make sure the roots of this ‘tree’ are provided with the right nutrients (values) in the hope that they grow into good people.

Q. As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A. You have to look at yourself before you do anything else. Children will follow by example. Surround your children with a supportive environment, good role models and we need to set examples ourselves as parents and grandparents. Infuse values of Sikhism in our homes so that they can identify themselves as Sikh (wearing and following the right practices). Children need to be fully aware of the teachings of the Gurus and to believe that the Guru Granth Sahib can be your true guidance. Understanding the history of Sikhi and the Gurus to help build that connection.

Q. If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A. A Sikh Dad whats app group or network/forum to help share experiences.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A. With my beautiful grandkids. I have five grandchildren, all of whom have their own very individual personalities, so spending quality time with each of them is very important to me.

Q. Can you tell me a funny story of something that’s happened to you while being a father?

A. I took the kids on a European road trip. We had a wonderful time touring Europe but on our way back, my youngest baby, Jaspreet, hid her brother Randeep’s passport. PANIC SET IN. We were very close to going to the embassy; however, the passport reappeared. It was taken out of my wife’s handbag and was found neatly tucked under a car seat. Panic averted!

Q. As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A. Having grandchildren. There is something very special in seeing your own children raising their own babies.

Q. Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A. ‘I am so thankful I could be a Dad, it is well and truly a gift from God.’

Summary

I have not met Jaspreet and her father Balbir Singh as yet; this interview actually came about from me reading one of her posts on IG.  I was amazed at how she was describing her father and with so much love that I just had to ask them to be involved. I was thinking that if my kids ever spoke and felt for me in the same way, then I would be a happy man!  As you have read Balbir Singh is not only a father but also a grandfather, the first I have interviewed on Sikh Dad, he has shared with us his wealth of experience and his gratitude for what he has been blessed with, this is something we can all learn from. I hope in the future I will get to meet them both but until then I thank them both for taking their time out to contribute to Sikh Dad.

September – Albel Singh

I’m Albel Singh, a Microbiologist, I am going to share my feelings and I hope this will have an effect on anyone, with gurus grace I am going to try to answer these questions.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A.  I wish for this question I could only say that I am Scribe for Guru Sahib though for fulfilling the responsibilities profession wise I am Microbiologist, working with a team at University of Birmingham, on a project, since the last ten years, to find new drug targets for the treatment of Tuberculosis, by understanding the cell wall, personally more we try to answer, what we find is more questions and it boils down to “tera ant na jaie lakheya”

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

A.  We are grateful to Prabhki Kaur, just turned 10 yesterday, who made us parents.  Secondly, we are blessed with the company of Waheguruki Kaur (6) name says it all.  And the youngest Gurdaas Singh is blessing and remembrance of life and sewa of Bhai Gurdaas Ji

Q.  You are a big advocate for writing Gurbani in calligraphy style, why is this important and what advice would you have for someone starting out?

A.  Let’s call this and talk about Gurbani Scribing, and being a Gurus Scribe, it’s much more sweeter than being a Calligrapher, it is important as this gives you one to one time with our Guru, to your heart content. Then it’s the guru’s grace and paras kala to convert ourselves to the Purity. The art part is only to impress, though the Gurbani scribing has got a totally different perspective and outcome.  I feel that scribing in an Artistic way is good, though feeling the Art in Gurbani itself is more cleansing, the Art of Transformation that Guru Sahib Ji put into Gurbani, maybe that’s why referred to as “Paras Kala” (Gurbani Quote)

Answering the second part, one thing that I can personally suggest here is to make your pen pace slow and then slower the pace even further, that it may take up to an hour to write Mool Mantar for example, and feel that every word has got a soul of its own and experience how this affects you! And that the process of scribing that your mind goes through is more important.

Q. Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A.  Bhai Gurdaas Ji

Q. What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A.  That God exists, that God is with me, and that God Loves me

Q. What have you learnt from your own father?

A.  My father being a veterinarian taught me dedication, I saw him leaving the comfort of his bed for going to treat cows or buffalos whose owners knock at the door in the middle of the night.

Q.  How has your partner Influenced your parenting style?

A.  The mother always has a gut feeling, you know the motherly gut feeling amazes me all the time.

Q. What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a Dad for the first time?

A.  Being a dad is the responsibility to raise a child and the opportunity to raise yourself.

Q.  What’s the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A.  We went to holidays to our village in Punjab, like us kids enjoyed the company of everyone over there and after a couple of months when we came back we use to feel sad missing all of those lovely people, though we saw the kids rejoice when they remembered them. I suppose they inherently know how to live in the moment.

Q. As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A.  Sikhi in my view does two things to you, one it cultivates you from within and secondly it protects the cultivation that we call “rehat” that Guru Sahib given us, just like a sugarcane field, has a tough boundary for keeping away thieves and stray animals. As we raise our kids all we try to make our kids aware of is this and they are wise enough to make their decisions.

Q. If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A.  Night time stories do wonders to the thinking of the kids, I would like to facilitate the collection of sakhiyaan that dads’ can share with their kids before bedtime.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A.  Well everybody’s welcome

Q. Can you tell me a funny story about something that happened to you while being a father?

A.  When your kid wants to sit on your shoulders while you cycle, you attempt it and fall in the fields.

Q.  As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A.  Being able to share the qualms (pens) with the kids

Q. What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A.  Every time I go to Anand Karaj and see a dad giving the “palla”

Q. Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A.  As I said before parenting is more of raising yourself an opportunity to live your childhood again, it’s a reflection and indication of how fast the time is running off.

Summary

I first met Albel Singh at a Khalsa camp many years ago, at the time we were both fathers of one, how time changes and as you know we are both fathers of three now!  When I believed I was not so hands-on, whenever I would see him from afar with his children, I would be inspired, you could say I was in awe, as I watched his children follow him around while he had his hands full completing various seva responsibilities.  He was one of the dads I had in mind when I thought about how important our roles are in the lives of our children.  It makes me happy how he has always wanted to help and support me in this seva.  He always has a smile on his face and is very humble considering the knowledge and skills that he possesses that is a testament to his character.  I am more than comfortable looking up to him and taking advice on how to become a better father,  I hope I have many more opportunities to talk fatherhood with him in the future, in the meantime, I thank him greatly for taking his time out to contribute to Sikh Dad.

August – Bhagat Singh

I’m Bhagat Singh, originally from Leeds but currently residing in Bradford, in Yorkshire (commonly referred to as God’s Country) 😀

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A.  I’m currently 39 years old and I’m a freelance graphic designer and online media creator, working from home. Aside from my vocation, I’m involved in the local Gurdwara Sahib committee, resulting in the weekends being busier than weekdays.  I enjoy keertan, exploring messages of Gurbani, and spending time with Akal Purakh Ki Fauj.

Q. Your Child/Childrens ages, who they are and what are they like?

A.  Prabhu Singh is 7 years old (in 3 weeks), and Kirpa Kaur is 1.5 years old. Prabhu is a pleasurably inquisitive child. He loves everything that grows or moves… namely; nature, animals and dinosaurs. I’m sure if he were to read this, he’d be quick to remind me of something I’m forgetting. He also enjoys expressing what he loves through art.  Kirpa is a headstrong, no-nonsense little cutie that loves everything her elder bro does. She loves doing Simran.

Q. You have recently uploaded a video of your son called “Nature Singh”  What were your thoughts behind that and how did it all come about?

A.  Just like all parents, I’m sure, we’ve been making home vids of these kids since day one. When Prabhu starts to passionately express himself verbally on some of these, we couldn’t help feeling that other Sikh kids could benefit or be inspired by hearing about nature from a kid too. So whilst we’ve only uploaded one video, we’re thinking of sticking up more depending on the types of feedback we get. So, let us know your thoughts.

Q.  There is a growing belief that you have to be tough with your kids in order to make them adaptable to the world, in accordance with Sikhi, what are your thoughts on this?

A.  If we think using an iron fist is productive in the adult world, then doing the same kids is a given I guess. But if we feel that inspiring, empowering, mutual respect and a positive environment is more conducive within a work environment, for example, then, it can be argued the same is true for kids (or more precisely, ‘young people’). This approach is becoming more commonly widespread and is certainly a recognised ingredient from the younger years of many of the world’s successful people today.

Q. Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A.  Bhai Vir Singh. His novels (Bijai Singh, Satwant Kaur, Sundri), gave me a practical perspective on living the ideals of truth, love, fearlessness in everyday life. Up until then, the principles of Sikhi felt like a theory to me. The novels (read in my late teens) transformed my closeness to Sikhi and stopped me from walking away from it at that typical pivotal time of recently gained adulthood.

Q. What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A.  Jo Brahmande, Soee Pinde – Whatever is out there in the universe, is actually within. Pondering on the infinitely vast of the universe of the infinitely immense Vaheguru – and then perceiving that to be discoverable inside me, has gotten me through some really thick moments in life. This broader perspective makes seemingly large problems of life, fizzle away into near nothingness. The elderly Gursikh Bhai Jarnail Singh (UK) shared this gem of wisdom from Gurbani – but ultimately, it was Vaheguru ji that created that revelatory vichar (discussion).

Q. What have you learnt from your own father?

A.  To be honest, hard-working, focused and determined.

Q.  How has your partner Influenced your parenting style?

A.  She is a very warm and love filled person who draws out the good in those she engages with when she is in full flow. She has taught me to be more communicative and less introverted. She’s done this without actually teaching me… just by being her bubbly self.

Q. What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a Dad for the first time?

A.  Pour out your love into this being that has been blessed into your responsibility. Recognise that it’s an opportunity to help shape and raise a wonderful being,  with love, nurture and guidance of Gurbani, into a much more improved version of yourself.  And this begins from day one of a child’s birth. The warmth, love and attention a baby receives helps it feel safe, protected and loved, and allow it to flower into a wonderful human being which will one day be released into society as an inspiration.

Q.  Whats the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A.  To let go, love, appreciate and absorb. I have appreciated Guru (God) in a new light thanks to Prabhu. His innocence, alert observation of nature around us, and his intuitive character has taught me to reassess myself on many levels. I have discovered aspects of nature that open my eyes in new ways on the greatness of the ways of mother nature – aka God.

Q. As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A.  Kids pick up on the hypocrisies of an adult very quickly. A self-reflection on our walk versus our talk is a starting point.  Secondly, a vibrant and engaging expression of Sikhi through stories, talks of morals, examples of influential figures from Sikh history and general pride of Sikhi should always trigger a healthy engagement and interest. But most importantly, live Sikhi in your actions every day.

Q. If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A.  A talk from Harpreet Singh Toronto on the benefits of the Montessori teaching method. This creative teaching approach has opened my eyes to the potential of a young person, who is allowed to grow in a free and non-inhibiting (albeit safely controlled) environment.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A.  Prabhu Singh. We have riveting conversations on almost anything.

Q. Can you tell me a funny story about something that happened to you while being a father?

A.  Oh gosh, yes! So Prabhu’s mum has an agreement with Prabhu (then 3 years old, I think) to be treated with 3 Tic Tacs, if he uses the toilet for a “number 2”, instead of asking for a nappy – he used to demand a nappy so that he could ‘go’ while mobile.  So he comes up to me after a successful tictac received, and says, “Daddy, can I have one extra tictac today? And then tomorrow, I will have only two.”  I was so impressed that this little guy had calculated maths on his own that I readily agreed. Upon receiving his extra tictac, he says, “I’m always gonna have 4 tictacs from tomorrow too”. And he carries on watching TV!  My eyes popped wide and I was dumbfounded for a few seconds before I stepped out of the room to share with Raj that I’ve well and truly been done over by a 3-year-old. I couldn’t help laughing in shock.

Q.  As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A.  Seeing him grow to be such an inquisitive, bubbly and expressive child with a cute enough face to induce cannibalistic tendencies.

Q. What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A.  Living up to the ideals we’ve shared with Prabhu from Sikhi. He’s sharper than a police detective in pointing out our fallacies. But we openly discuss our weaknesses too so hopefully tool him up to honest and self-reflective. But it isn’t half embarrassing!

Q. Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A.  Enjoy it while it lasts as they were only born yesterday and they’ll be married tomorrow.

Summary

I have known of Bhagat Singh for a while now but only recently sat down with him at a mutual friends house.  Apart from both being active fathers, we had many other things in common which brought about this interview. He is very well spoken and knowledgeable on various topics but very down to earth.  I found him to be very open and that is evident in his relationship with his children. It’s refreshing to see and hear him talk about how he openly converses with his kids and the riveting conversations that they have. For me, he is someone that I greatly respect and we have already spoken about working on various collaborations in the future.  For now, I thank Bhagat Singh for taking his time out to contribute to Sikh Dad.

July – Harkirat Singh

I’m Harkirat Singh from Northampton and I attend Sikh camps and workshops all over the world.  Please check out the Sikh Education Service.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A.  I was blessed to progress my accountancy into an International Tax Specialist, and then at the age of 35, having had multiple health challenges, took the advantage of a year out, learning to be a better child, brother, friend and husband.  Blessed to become a father, this was perfect timing as always in Guru Sahibs masterplan.

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

 A. Seva Kaur, our daughter, has since grown into mature 12 year old; time does not stand still.

Q.  You have been attending Sikhi Camps up and down the country for many years now, what can you share from your experiences?

A.  In those 12 years, being in sangat has enabled us all to continue learning and sharing with like-minded parents and otherwise.  Travelling to Sikhi and Gurmat Camps has allowed us to focus our time and daswandh on Sikh Education Seva, and meet many inspirational souls from all backgrounds, young and old.

Q.  You offer Sikh education assemblies and workshops across UK schools, how did this come about and what stage would you say you’re at?

A.  What was an Ardas for a year out of a full-time profession, became an extended Ardas to continue on the path that had been discovered.  The Northampton Sangat had space for an education and museum space in the local Gurdwara, and schools wanted to visit. They starting coming, I started hosting, and by the end of the year, 1000’s of school children had visited. The next year school budgets dropped (they couldn’t afford the coach costs), so I offered to visit them in schools, another journey began, with what was for Northamptonshire Schools, soon led to Religious Education Teachers wanting staff training, soon led to spreading to neighbouring counties and beyond.

Q.  Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A.  My biggest influence has to be Guru Nanak Dev Ji, and their journeys and lessons are my inspiration.  They inspired many many others and continue to do so; this list would be endless, as I have travelled far across the world, and continue to meet these flames of ignition in many walks of life.

Q.  What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A.  Remain in Gratitude, helps you in accepting Hukam.

Q.  What have you learnt from your own father?

A.  My father died when I was a teenager; he said something very special to the effect of;“Not even your mother, chacha, family etc may stop to ask you read Rehras in the evening together.  Remember those pyare who do encourage you to do so. My friends who ask you to do this are the ones to keep making time for”.

Q.  How has your partner Influenced your parenting style?

A.  My partner, Parvinder Kaur, teaches me indirectly every day not to be a hypocrite.  Our parenting style is teamwork, we love and hate other, and try to keep treat Three as One

Q.  What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a dad for the first time?

A.  Advice for someone being a dad for the first time is understanding Munn, Thunn, Dhaan; as you have been given a very big Seva now.

Q.  Whats the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A. My child has taught me that I can learn from her, and to humbly do so, inspires her to help others learn.

Q.  As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A. I would encourage all parents to be to start the Sikhi journey now, and keep taking tiny steps forward; take leaps when you want to, but do that together as a family and not because of other influences.

Q.  If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A.  As I am completing this interview, I am thinking that further questions/conversations like this (with one’s own mind) is what would be useful.  Maybe somebody creative reading this will be inspired to create a solution that fits.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A.  Anybody who wishes to meet up without judgement and not to slander anyone during the conversation, and who is willing to pay the bill!

Q.  Can you tell me a funny story of something that’s happened to you while being a father?

A. At a Sikhi Camp in Scotland,  children were swinging across a deep muddy pond of water ; one got stuck at the last ring ; I went to help slightly over-dressed as I had a neck injury,  slipped en-route running around the pond, only to get to him on time, grab him, but then to fall in with him.  My daughter will never let me forget!

Q.  As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A.  Most rewarding experience as a father has been to listen to my daughter offering to help others.

Q.  What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A.  The biggest for me is the control of my anger.  The challenge continues every day for someone whom it was a habit.

Q.  If you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A. Remain a cool one; you are blessed with this opportunity.

Summary

I first met bhaji Harkirat Singh at a Sikhi camp close to our house in South East London, when I spoke with him I was shocked that he had come all that way with his family for our small local camp.  I then started seeing him in more places and realised the effort and lengths that he would go to in order to expose his family to the Gurus sangat nationwide.  He is very friendly and easy to talk to, someone I admire and would not hesitate to contact when I am in need of any advice.  You may be wondering why unlike my past interviews there are no images?  We are going to try something different this month so watch out for some video footage on the Sikh dad channels over the next few days,  to explain and bring to life some of the answers, I promise you won’t be disappointed with what is to come!  Lastly, I would like to thank Harkirat Singh for taking his time out for Sikh Dad.

June – Tarsem Singh

I’m Tarsem Singh an IT director based in the Midlands, passionate about creating and developing Sikh resources.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A.  I am an IT Director with a background in Computing Science and have been leading Software Development teams for over 20 years.

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

A.  I have two sons; one is still at school aged 15, the other has just finished his Degree in Law.

Q.  You have worked on and developed a number of Sikhi desktop and mobile apps, regarding Sikh resources where do you see the future?

A.  Sikh technical resources are essential for our future and the make learning more exciting, easy and accessible.  There is still a lot to do to get the Sikh faith at the fingertips of the general public worldwide.

Q. You were pivotal in the creation of SikhitotheMax, how did it all come about?  Could you have envisaged it being used worldwide today?

A.  This was just part of my skills at the time.  Whatever I had learned I tried to apply it to Sikhi and created a very useful database to do the searching.  This moved further when experimenting with the first letters of words which turned out to be a bit of a revelation.  The way Gurbani is written, using first letters and not worrying about the complex spelling of words allowed for “live searching” of Shabads while Keertani were performing.   The addition of a screen changed the way the Sangat engaged in Rehnsbhai Keertans and regular Divaans.  The application was all Beta and unfinished but it spread quite quickly.  Technology usage at the time of no mobiles was rare in Gurdwara Sahibs.  So Guru Jee’s blessing really.

Q.  You recently attended a mental health first aid course, what did you learn?  And why do you feel its important?

A.  Mental Health is affecting more and more people worldwide and is reaching epidemic proportions.  It is highly likely that someone close to us will have mental health issues at some point in their life.  It is very important that we all have some understanding of it as interacting with someone who has mental health issues is a very delicate area.  Even recognising it is important so I think as many people as possible need to be first aid trained.  There are more suicides of Sikhs in the UK now than ever before, so we need to act fast to become helpers.

Q.  June is an important month for Sikhs as we remember the attack on Darbar Sahib (Golden Temple) in 1984, after 34 years what would be your message to all Sikhs worldwide?

A.  Recognition of Sikhi as an important part of this planet is still a huge challenge.  India is where the faith started and had it not been for Sikhi; the land would now be an Islamic country.  Events from 1978 to 1984 and beyond were just a rude awakening for us Sikhs.  I hope that everyone regardless of their career puts something back into the Panth selflessly so that it can grow very strong.  These down points are part of the course and journey for anything coming into fruition- it is a foregone conclusion that Sikhi will be a very positive part of this planet – it is just a matter of time.

Q.  You have delivered talks and workshops all around the world on Sikhi, what are the common difficulties people are facing in the progression of their Sikhi?

A.  The key thing is sticking to the path and making continued progress.  When taking Amrit, we are all on a high.  It is a new chapter of our lives, and we are energetic.  But slowly that wears off and then reality kicks in.  It is hugely important that we have very strong Sikh units all over the world that can support their local communities.  The Khalsa is a distributed army that keeps training to improve.  Finding Sangat that drives your forward, keeps you in Chardhi Kala and remains in Vigaas – spiritual happiness is very important.

Q.  Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A.  There is no bigger inspiration than Guru Sahib. That is what unites us all.  But I have tried to study Bhai Gurdas Jee often – it is clear that Bhai Gurdas Jee and Baba Buddah Jee were the most inspirational Sikhs from our history if you want to learn about Sikhi at the root level.  The writings of Bhai Gurdas Jee are totally essential to understanding Gurmat.  They are second only to Gurbani.  In the modern day, Bhai Sahib Bhai Randhir Singh has been by far the most inspirational as his grasp on Gurmat and clarity of Gursikhi requirements are really inspirational.

Q.  What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A.  The best piece of advice is to be the same Gursikh when you are on your own that you portray to the outside world.

Q.  What have you learnt from your own father?

A.  To be quiet, hardworking and not complain even if others do not treat you right.

Q.  What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a Dad for the first time?

A.  Before you become a Dad you should always do an Ardas to Guru Jee first.  This should be that the soul Guru Jee sends is one of a Gurmukh who you will parent and look after but ultimately will be a sevak of the Khalsa.

Q.  Whats the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A.  My children have taught me that if you give a child anything that they want, it is a form of child abuse as they will never learn and will never appreciate.  If Guru Jee gives me everything that my mind ever desired, my Guru would be irresponsible.  Satguru is never irresponsible.

Q.  As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A.  You can only do Ardas.  Sometimes Karam are very strong and Sikhi does not always come to children in the way we expect it to.  Always keep your children in good Sangat – this is done by keeping good Sangat yourself.

Q.  If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A.  There is nothing that can be created equal to Gurbani.  If you use it and shower your children with some of the blessings it gives you it is magical.

Q.  Can you tell me a funny story of something that’s happened to you while being a father?

A.  Yes – one piece of advice, do not pick your children up above your head.  Mine threw up in my beard once.  Not very nice.

Q.  As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A.  Most rewarding is that you have children, some couples can never have them so you should appreciate them for whatever they are.

Q.  What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A.  Fatherhood will remain a challenge to the end.  The hardest thing is the inspire your children to be the best that they can be and not be a burden on this earth.

Q.  Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A.  You have to eat mirch (chilly) sometimes but ultimately it is laddoo (sweet) eating and a beautiful thing that Vaheguru Jee has made.

Summary

Tarsem Singh is someone that I have known for many years now, he is a well-respected figure among Sikhs in the UK.  The SikhitotheMax translation software that was first presented to us on in our Gurdwaras some 15 years ago now, was pivotal in my journey onto the path of Sikhi. I will never be able to thank him enough for his role in that, knowing him now and how humble he is, he will always look to the next project, with that in mind SikhitotheMax mobile is finally on the horizon and will be launched very soon by Share Charity UK.  Most recently he has created infographics on such topics as the Sikh wedding ceremony and the Life of a Gursikh, keep an eye out for these as they will be appearing in Gurdwaras throughout the UK in the coming months.  Over the years he has done many lectures and workshops which I have always found very useful, I love how he has always brought slides to life and offered advice on marriage and parenting as a part of growing spiritually.  I am truly honoured that he agreed to give this interview for Sikh Dad and share his thoughts on parenting.  If you would like to keep in touch with Tarsem Singh and get connected with his latest downloadable content you will find more information on http://www.sharecharityuk.com

May – Harinder Singh

I’m Harinder Singh and about as west as West London could get for a while (Southall). Since then life and living has moved me to a place where I’m possibly the only Singh in the Cobham Village along with my son who’s now 6 months old! As you’ll see later that’s a rather interesting place to be when you support the team that I do (and no, it’s not one of my neighbours!).

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A.  Well, I’m now the ripe old age of 41. Married, 2.4 children (well 3 if you consider Anoop who’s our childish Samoyed dog). Post my degree in Software Engineering I decided programming wasn’t for me and went into my graduate training programme at Goldman Sachs in 2001. It was all set to be a lovely 2001 and then 9/11 happened and it was a stark reminder that we are not designed to be incognito when living in New York City two blocks away from the scene. I still work in IT as a Programme Delivery Manager for one of the investment banks in the city and I carry on doing it looking the way I do. This is important as when starting out I was told by my peers I couldn’t make it looking the way we do. We had the last laugh! I’m a passionate Liverpool supporter and season ticket holder so that may put some folks off from carrying on but please stay tuned for more information… I’m sure you’ll like it!

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

 A.  I have two children who are an amazing blessing. Daya Kaur who is 6 going onto 16 and our newest edition Sahib Singh who came like a gift from the above on Sri Guru Nanak Dev ji’s gurpurab in November 2017. Daya is the life and soul of the household. Funny, excitable, loving and very compassionate. Every bit a Daya Kaur that a Daya Kaur could be. Sahib is just like her temperament when she was of similar early months.  As he develops and grows I see the same smiles and looks of amazement when I walk through the door. I suspect this is more “where have you been?” as Rupinder, my very patient and determined wife, is there more than I am due to Mon-Fri working life.

Q.  You are invested in a unique home for girls in India, can you tell us more about this initiative?

A.  Unique Home for Girls is a place for abandoned girls in Jalandhar. In England, there is a registered charity called UK Friends of Unique Home and myself and Rupinder are part of a group of trustees for it. The main aim of the charity has been to raise awareness and funds for the ongoing new building they are constructing on the outskirts of Jalandhar. This will finally enable the girls (circa 80) to move from the old home into a purpose built modern building which is more secure and equipped than the existing premises. The key thing to note though is that I won’t describe this place as an orphanage as this somewhat discredits the efforts of Bibi Ji there who embraces every girl there as a daughter. It’s their home. It’s doesn’t distinguish between the ways in which someone arrives but looks to provide a structure that enables a new life of love and wanting such that by the time any daughter leaves she is ready for the world.

Q. So what’s all this Liverpool nonsense about?

A.  Ha! Well, I’ve been a season ticket holder now for probably too many years. It’s been a whirlwind journey with highs and lows and culminated in a champions league final which didn’t go our way. What it has done though is highlight to the club that it has a very diverse following. They’ve known this but in the last few seasons, we’ve brought it to the forefront. We’ve had Singhs dining with the Brazilians of the team, Singhs sitting in the boardroom of Liverpool Football Club and even a Daya Kaur lead the team out as a mascot… possibly the first Kaur to do so at Anfield under the lights! I’ve also been lucky enough to be part of the supporter forums which is a first for us as well. All this whilst looking like we do. It’s been great for us all because we’re spotted easily by those who run the club on a daily basis. It helps we don’t all look the same 😀

Q.  Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A.  King Kenny Dalglish of course. I’m joking! My biggest inspiration has been the folks behind Akal Academy. Reading the history of how this institution came about from the times of Baba Attar Singh Ji to Baba Teja Singh Ji to now with Baba Iqbal Singh Ji. I went to Akal Academy Baru Sahib in 1993 for around 18 months when I needed to learn what it meant to be a Sikh who was Amritdhari. It’s not an easy existence and as we look to learn we need a teacher. Back then I was surrounded by people I could learn from but just couldn’t connect with. This 18 months allowed me to live and learn. As life throws challenges from every corner I always look back at this school and what it wants to accomplish – that Sikhs in Sikhi’s roop (image) go on to achieve in life and take our roop forward intact and without fear or trepidation. So many times I’ve seen or heard where the wrong advice is given that we may not beat a system designed to hold us back. The only thing that holds us back is ourselves. Embracing who we are and what we are with full faith is a path filled with obstacles but nothing is insurmountable. The time here gave me a belief that even when I falter or fall behind that the way forward is with our Guru. Always.

Q.  What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A.  It’s never about where you’re from but where you’re going to. This rings true in so many ways. Sikhi actively shows us that it holds no bias of your background, your colour, your perceived status or belonging. Applying this to daily life we see so many in different places and in order to rise together we have to be together.

Q.  What have you learnt from your own father?

A.  Don’t drink. Ever. My father passed away in 2010 aged 58. He came from a culture where heavy drinking was the norm. I can recall the feeling of waiting and waiting as he left the home to go somewhere and how he would return drunk and incoherent. We’d be left waiting to go anywhere and he’d disappear. Over the years I’ve seen many articles come out respective to drinking and Punjabi culture. It’s not an easy topic to approach because you want your dad to be like everyone else’s. Normal, engaging, happy and at one with his family. I can’t recall many of those moments over the years as a kid but I do remember the waiting and wanting. It happened to be the best teaching that I don’t want my own children to feel that way.

Q.  How has your partner Influenced your parenting style?

A.  I’m sure she’d say she’s my parent! In a way, she probably is the best check and balance of what I need to be a good dad. We can get sucked into everything around us and taking the time to reflect.

Q.  What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a dad for the first time?

A.  Enjoy it. The nesting period of your partner will be a challenging one but once you get past that embrace the changes! There isn’t a prescriptive way to be that leads to being the ultimate dad or winning greatest dad of the year award but there are a few simple things that we can do.

  1. Remember they’re kids! We were kids once too.
  2. Fortune favours the brave. Every nappy change is possible, just keep the right tools nearby for those challenging moments.
  3. Your wife will be tired. Anything she says is fine and forgettable when under duress!
  4. Be the dad you can be. There isn’t a perfect dad but just the ones who let their children know and feel they are loved.
  5. Don’t worry. The first time is an adventure!

Q.  Whats the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A.  Nothing is as bad as it seems. I can come home and be shown how to forget anything in an instant with one of them smiling or laughing. When kids are young, certainly in my ones, they don’t dwell on a negative experience and use that to benchmark the next one. It’s been an eyeopener for me personally in seeing this with Daya and it’s a good lesson when facing the unknown or previous experiences in new settings. Sahib himself has taught me more about myself than I ever wanted to learn probably!

Q.  As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A.  Patience. As kids develop at different paces we should remember that the embracing of Sikhi can be the same. What we show them and shape them with is also just as important. Knowing the environment at school and home can be at different points of a spectrum we have to be able to adjust to thinking on our feet.

Q.  If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A.  A time machine! Seriously! Kids grow up too fast and so many times I’ve thought and wished to return Daya to an earlier time in her life. It’s not realistic though and as she grows and matures it’s been a learning for me that we have to let that happen. With Sahib, it’s a little different as he’s so young but that ability to put him in one place and know he’ll still be there will soon be gone. Then the climbing and more
baby proofing and the “how the heck did you get there?” will come.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A.  I’d probably go with you. Have a feeling you’ll need the break from it all very soon! But seriously, who shares Pizza? If I did have to pick somebody I’d take Jurgen Klopp. He could wax lyrical about so many things and he’d also be culturally enriched by so many Singhs and Kaurs around him. He’s always come across as someone who would be fascinated by what we have to share of our history and way of life. Of course, some football would be discussed and I don’t think the conversation would end anytime soon. I also don’t think we’d get thrown out of the place if we carried on eating and talking post-closing time so that’s a lot Mr Singh’s Pizza for us all before we get to the desserts!

Q.  Can you tell me a funny story of something that’s happened to you while being a father?

A.  Daya’s first-word post taunting! She was approaching her first birthday and we’d gone to Lake Tahoe for a friend’s wedding. Daya was sitting there making noises and there I was mimicking her in my own special way. She laughed, I laughed, Rupinder laughed. As parents, we laughed probably a bit too much. Daya all of a sudden switches to a deadpan straight expression of annoyance and shouts “Dada!”. Well, do you laugh at her ability to be so expressive at such a young age or cry at her first words? I think it was a bit of both if I’m honest. Rupinder was choked and I was like the cat that got the cream. Mum is with her day and night as I went out to work and it’s me she refers to first.

Q.  As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A.  Daya and paat at school. You go to parents evening. You look at all the things they’ve been doing and listen to the teacher evaluations and see all the boxes being ticked. Upon leaving you to bump into another family who have their daughters at the school. They’re twins and younger and one’s also called Daya. You begin to hear they’ve been going home asking their parents about where their Kara is and how they’ve been practising mool mantar with my Daya Kaur in the playground. I’ve genuinely not expected that at a parents evening. I was so proud of Daya being so forward and comfortable with her identity at a school where the majority of children aren’t from the same background. Her ability to carry herself confidently made me fill with joy and I think I told everyone I could!

Q.  What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A.  Sahib’s birth. Without doubt. The period leading up to the birth was as uneventful as you would want a birth to be. The day came and as the morning broke it was time. The time that followed is one I wished I had that aforementioned time machine for. More is here http://anfieldindex.com/34635/win.html but suffice to say everything was challenged. Faith, hope, who you are and why. He has been my everything in showing me that there is no darkness when you believe.

Q.  If you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A.  The most amazing thing in the world to be!

Harinder Singh is someone that I have met a few times now, he is well spoken, calm and patient.  He was one of the first Sikh Dads that I contacted when I started this initiative and he has been on board ever since.  He has remained very honest and reliable which I appreciate a great deal.  I am also delighted that he would take me to Mr Singhs to share his Pizza, I have of course brought that up with him, he said he doesn’t do that very often so aren’t I the lucky one?  For me, these interviews seem to get better every month, the wealth of knowledge and experience we are getting exposure to is unreal!  Recently Harinder wrote an excellent article about some recent challenges he faced as a father, he has been kind enough to include the link above, please do give that a read, its refreshing that he has been very open and honest about his recent experiences, lastly I would like to personally thank him for taking the time out for Sikh Dad.

April – Mankamal Singh

My name is Mankamal Singh. I was born, raised and live in Ilford. I did go to University in Leicester and lived there during that period, but otherwise, my base has always been Ilford.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?

A.  I was one of those individuals who fell into Accounting and Finance after leaving University and 20 years on I am still working in that field. I started my career in one of the ‘big 4’ and have moved around many different industries since then. In 2004, my life took a very different course when I was blessed to receive Amrit. That was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life.

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?

A.  I have a daughter who is 16, a son who is 14 and my youngest son is now 12. What can I say, they are well-grounded kids, they make me proud and they still think I am cool. So I can’t complain. They are a blessing.

Q.  You are the Co-founder of a Sikh faith school in East London?  How did that come about? Why is it important for parents to enrol their children in a faith school?

A.  We are a community with a local presence in East London for over 70 years. Sikhs make up a sizable proportion of the local demographics, yet in those 70 years we had not set up a Sikh faith School. Local Sikh parents seemed keen to send their children to faith schools which we could see within the local Catholic, C of E, Jewish and Hindu faith schools. This resonated with a few of us. We started looking into how we can go about setting up an educational institute that projects Sikhi and benefits the entire community not just Sikhs. Parents now have a choice of a Sikh faith school in East London which they never had before.

Q.  You have recently become the presenter of a show discussing Mental Health on KTV Global channel, What are the challenges that young people face today?

A.  The Mental Health show came about at the request of the younger participants. It’s an issue which we are all becoming more and more aware of. Being young always presents its challenges, it’s not an easy time adjusting to the pressures of society, I remember going through it myself.

Q.  Who has been your biggest inspiration?

A.  The answer will always be the Guru Sahiban and Shaheeds of the Panth. Whatever ups and downs I go through, I focus on them and think about the challenges they overcame.

Q.  What has been the best piece of advice you have received?

A.  Sangat begins at home. The Guru Pyare you yearn to meet are often in your own homes.

Q.  What have you learnt from your own father?

A.  My father always involved me and my brother in all his decision making, his highs and his lows. He always took an interest in whatever I would do, always consulted me and always encouraged me to be independent. He was my best friend when I was a child. A big reason why we are still so close.

Q.  How has your partner Influenced your parenting style?

A.  Devinder is the family’s moral compass; she wakes up at Amrit Vela before everyone else. She is the main reason why the children are so grounded. She is always measured, realistic and the most empathetic person I have ever met. She looks at things holistically and never gives up. This is why so many people confide in her. The kids have a great Mum.

Q.  What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a dad for the first time?

A.  BJe the person you want your child to emulate. Never underestimate what a child is observing. You will always be one of their first role models, and they will copy you in many ways.

Q.  Whats the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?

A.  Never worry about not having enough hands to help. There have been many times that I have been let down, but the children are always ready to stand by my side. We went through a series of intimidation not so long ago; I realised how brave and resilient children could be. When I felt most vulnerable, they raised my spirits.

Q.  As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters, if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?

A.  Never give up being a Sikh parent, you are planting a seed, and it may take many years to blossom. Create a space at home to sit together for Reharas Sahib. Upgrade your music collection to Kirtan and above all commit to attending the Gurdwara regularly as a family, never lose faith. When I went off the rails many years ago, my mum did a daily Ardaas for me to come into Sikhi. After some years, I subconsciously heard that Ardaas because it changed the course of my life.

Q.  If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?

A.  One of the purposes of building a Sikh faith school is to support other parents. Once the build is complete, we are hoping Atam Academy becomes a hub of activity on the weekends supporting all the community.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?

A.  Anyone that comes and sits next to me. I pass Mr Singh’s every day on the way to and from work. Believe it or not, I have actually sat on my own in Mr Singhs with a Pizza only to be joined by another random Gurmukh pyara who was on their own. We had a wonderful conversation and shared our Pizza.

Q.  Can you tell me a funny story of something that’s happened to you while being a father?

A.  That’s a difficult one as there have been so many. My middle son is a bit of a comedian and a witty entertainer. We have the same sense of humour. I am a bit if a joker, so is my brother, and because of that, there is always a lot of comedy and mimicry in the house. Perhaps a bit too much…

Q.  As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?

A.  Watching the children grow into becoming a wonderfully confident Kirtan jatha.  I am just grateful for the gift of Kirtan in our house

Q.  What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?

A.  Getting roped into too many projects thereby reducing the time I spend with the kids. I have started becoming realistic and putting the children first now especially as they are getting older. They will be off to University soon, and I don’t want to lose any more valuable time.

Q.  If you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?

A.  It’s a blessing, and I am thankful to Waheguru every day.

Q.  Lastly, with it being Vaisakhi this week and such an important time for Sikhs all over the world, I asked Mankamal Singh to give his thoughts and feelings on what it means to him and his family?

It was an honour for me to interview Mankamal Singh, he is someone that I have known and respected for many years now.  His achievements to date speak for themselves, yet he always seems very grounded, that as he mentioned has had a great influence on his children.  When speaking about his father and what he had experienced I was truly blown away by his words, having learnt of his experience if I can strive to be even half of that I will be a happy man!  I appreciated his honesty throughout, and as young fathers, we are fortunate to look at the generation above us and seek advice from them about their highs and lows.  We had the timely bonus this month of Mankamal Singh agreeing to share his thoughts on Vaisakhi, with it being this week I urge you all to watch the full video to see how you can benefit from his experiences and apply them to your family life.  I would like to thank Tajpal Dhamu and Punjab2000 for the images used and lastly a big thanks to Mankamal Singh for taking the time out for Sikh Dad.

 

March – Paramveer Singh

My name is Paramveer Singh (mostly known as Pete Singh), I live in the Midlands and am a father of 2.

Q. Tell us about yourself and your profession?
A.  Hmmm a little about myself? Well, a few of my main loves are Paneer, Gym, Family and Motorbikes.  I’m a Security Consultant for Knights Security, we at Knights Security provide a variety of services for clients including Weddings, Events, Residential, Close protection, Retail, Tailor made services, So if you have any security queries, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Q. Your Child/Children’s ages, who they are and what are they like?
A.  My eldest child is my Son, Akaal Singh, aged 6. He’s a very calm, caring & bubbly young boy that loves anything to do with animals (especially Lions!)  My youngest is my daughter, Asees Kaur, aged 2. She’s a very bubbly girl, with a fierce but very loving side!

Q. Who has been your biggest inspiration?
A.  I have two, my Granddad because if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be where I am today and my Mum, without delving too deep, her own journey has taught me so much about life.

Q. What have you learnt from your own father?
A.  To never be scared of anything and always speak my mind (even when I know it’ll get me in trouble)

Q. What has been the best piece of advice you have received?
A.  Family is everything.

Q. How has your partner influenced your parenting style?
A.  She has always encouraged me to teach my children about their religion and their roots. Also, to enjoy and have fun with every moment of parenting, as the memories made today will last a lifetime for all.

Q. What would be your advice for anyone who is about to become a Dad for the first time?
A.  Don’t be scared! There’s no rulebook, so just do what you think is right, as what applies to others may not apply to you and vice versa.

Q. What’s the biggest lesson about life your child/children have taught you?
A.  To look deeper into myself and my faith, because without faith I wouldn’t be where I am today.  Also, for me to encourage my children to learn more about Sikhi and be better people, I have to set the example first.

Q. As Sikhs we’re all considered brothers and sisters if your brother/sister was finding it difficult to encourage their children into Sikhi, what advice would you give them?
A.  Find something that your children love and then try to bring Sikhi in from there,  I.E. my children have watched both Chaar Sahibzaade films a trillion times, from here they ask so many various questions about Sikhi/Why certain things happen, which only helps their learning process.  Also, my son loves and has a massive interest in animals, from here we talk about hair and how a lion keeps its Maine, also about compassion for all living beings, hence why we don’t eat meat.  By making Sikhi a fun and exciting subject, not only will the child be more engrossed in learning more but you’ll also be expanding your mindset.

Q. If you could create anything to help support other dads, what would it be?
A.  Its already been created –  A platform for Sikh Dads, is an amazing concept to give guidance from experience to other dads.  Also, for the platform to show more videos, to show that parenting is a learning curve and that nobody gets it right straight away, but we can make it fun while we try though.

Q. You’re going for a Pizza at Mr Singhs – who would you share it with and why?
A.  No-one, because I love Pizza and I don’t share! Just joking, it would be anyone I can have a good conversation with about life and someone that I could learn a few things from too (So that’s now an open invitation…)

Q. Can you tell me a funny story of something that’s happened to you while being a father?
A.  Where do I start? As there’s been a few!  So one day I decided to have a bubble bath alongside my son Akaal (around five months at the time).  Like a hero, I didn’t put on his swimming nappy and made it so warm and comfortable in the bath, that before I knew it, all I saw was a few ‘floating logs’. I probably spent more time clearing up the mess, than enjoying the bath (but it was definitely a lesson learnt!)

Q. As a father what has been your most rewarding experience so far?
A.  The smile on my children’s faces, how much they’ve grown into amazing children and how much I’ve changed as a person (for the better I hope).

Q. What’s been your biggest challenge in fatherhood so far?
A.  Changing my ways, to focus on the positive in life and never to be negative (especially about things out of my control).  Learning to be more optimistic in life means I can teach and show my children to enjoy ‘Now’ and enjoy life in its present form because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.  Also, we can only rely on ourselves to teach our children the life skills and morals that we want them to obtain in life, by this I have to showcase these qualities by example.  We always have to remember the Seva is ours as parents.

Q. Lastly, if you had to sum up being a Dad in one sentence, what would it be?
A.  A rollercoaster ride, with the highs, the lows and the butterflies but when you come off, you think ‘that was amazing!!’

It was a great experience for me to formally interview Paramveer Singh, he contacted me very early on in Sikh Dad, we had a very open and honest conversation and have continued in this way since.  I won’t forget one thing he said to me “As Sikhs, there are some divisions in the UK and at times a lack of unity but if as Dads we can come together through the love of our children then that is a beautiful thing”.  I always remember that line and use it quite often myself as that statement is mindblowing!  What I like about his interview is that he is very open and honest about having changed and still wanting to reflect and improve, I hope more Dads like him will take that approach as we are all going to make mistake but we should not be afraid to try new things due to the fear of failure.  Its a journey we are all on and I look forward to bringing you the next chapter in April.  Lastly, I would like to thank Paramveer Singh for taking the time out for Sikh Dad.